Swinger Couple Claiming Sleeping With Other People Saved Their Relationship

Lauren Freeman

Journalist

"Sleeping with other people" is usually the point where a relationship breaks down and the court has to decide who owns the cat now. However, for Terri Ellwood, 26, and Lee Blackley, 30, it's the thing that helped keep them together. For Lee admitted to Terri that he cheated on his ex-wife - but he would remain faithful to Terry if she allowed him to sleep with other women. Terri agreed - as long as she was there while he did it.

“I love it now but at first I wasn’t so sure," Terri told the press. “I really liked Lee and was devastated when I found out he’d cheated on every past partner. I didn’t want to end things and I knew he liked me too. He asked if I could come round to the idea of swinging. I thought it was just for weird older couples but when he showed me all the attractive young couples on swinging websites, I thought I should give it a go. Now I’m happily a swinger with Lee, and I’m safe in the knowledge he’ll never cheat — unless I’m in the room.”

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Terri met Lee in February 2015 on the dating site Plenty of Fish. They had their first date four weeks later. It was all going great before Lee made his confession. “We had been talking until the early hours and getting on so well, then Lee just blurted it out," she said.

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"He told me he had never been able to be faithful to any girlfriends, and even admitted having a secret ‘cheating’ phone to organise his late-night hook-ups. I was gobsmacked. Lee was adamant he wanted to stay with me but admitted he struggled to remain faithful, sexually, due to such a strong desire to sleep with other women. I doubted how we could ever make this work.”

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Terri still gave him a chance, making their relationship official in April 2015. It only took Lee six month to come up with a very surprising offer for Terri. “Lee said he wanted to be with me but asked if we could bring someone else into the bedroom for a threesome. It was totally out of the blue," she said. "I wanted Lee to be happy and I’d always been open-minded but the idea of being with someone else made me nervous. Lee was really patient and understanding. We discussed it for hours, how it would work, who it would be with. I ended up being intrigued by the idea.”

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They got onto a swinger website to look for a suitable person. “I really enjoyed looking at the different women with Lee and when we both found one of them attractive, I was actually excited to message her," said Terri. “She wrote back saying she was interested and I knew I wanted to try it." At first, Terri was terrified that Lee would like the new woman more than her. However, she relaxed once they actually met, and chatting and flirting quickly turned to intimacy.

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“It was such a thrill when Lee watched me with her, and I really enjoyed watching Lee too," says Terri. “When we went home Lee and I sat up for hours talking about it — what we liked and what we didn’t.” Lee was already keen to meet even more people. They signed to more websites had their first foursome in a few months – Terri said "it was just as thrilling as the first time." They now attend swinger parties every six weeks - and they always use protection.

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The couple does have rules set out. They must do everything together, from messaging to meeting up. “It’s important that he respects me," said Terri. “I never thought I’d be OK with seeing my boyfriend have sex with another woman, let alone be comfortable with him seeing me sleep with another man. It’s centered around trust. I would not be OK with Lee meeting someone on his own. I would consider that cheating.” Other rules are no kissing and swinging is to be done away from home.

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